Monday, December 22, 2008(:
While in the car, daddy received a call from the nurse, saying that they cannot start chemo because she seems depressed.
We reached there seeing her having a very stoned look.
Not sure what was going on but after we took turn to see her, she was holding to her hair and mumbling to herself that she dun want to lose her hair.
Dr Choo (The chemo dr) came in and spoke to her, told her that she will only start the treatment when she is ready.
We did not want that.
We want her to be able to go home soon.
For the first time, I talk to her more. I understand what is she worried about.
We are connected in some ways, because she is very vain, like me.
I know her hair is more important than her life now, I told her that she will look even ugly if she lost her arm.
We tried to coax her and told her we will try every ways and means to keep her hair.
I promise her that I will be there everyday to take care of her hair.
And she finally come to her senses and said that she wants to go home on Wed.
She allow me to wash her hair and apply the treatment for her.
I left the ward and told her I need to get some rest first and will continue the evening treatment for her.
When mummy and daddy took a lift down to have some food, daddy was in a bad shape.
I think he was getting so tired and worried and fustrated that he snapped.
He said she was getting on their nerve, have she ever thought of how her parents felt. They are very worried about her and they do not want to lose her.
I think I was the only calm one in the family (thank god I had enough rest), I told them nicely that they cannot give up on her now, she could feel their mood and it will affect her.
When I woke up from my nap, I was shocked to see the house in super big mess.
Her 3 best friends came over our house to help with the house-keeping, so that she could have a cleaner environment to stay in when she was discharged.
She is really lucky to have them. They were so worried for her yet respect her decision for not wanting to see them and was even chased out of the ward.
We went to see her at 7pm, she was being switch to the harsh enviroment.....ward 48.
When I reached there, the nurse was preparing for her treatment.
She was rather calm.....
While she start the treatment, me and Erjie help her with her hair treatment as promised.
Her friends was eagerly waiting and hoping to see her.
She once again rejected them ande said she will only see them after her whole treatment, when she recovered.
They passed her a card, written with alots of concern, love and care.
I sneak a preview of it when I told her I will read it out to her but she shaked her head profusely and refused facing them.
I reckon she will read it secretly when we are not around.
The 3 best friends decided to respect her decision depsited being very worried and left the hospital and I guess they will continue with their life.
I told them that we will update them on the process and will try to talk more sense into her and let her see them someday.
I went to work, leaving Erjie there to take care of her.
I brought Judy along with me after work and we both sneak back into the hospital at 1.30am, just when she need to use the toilet.
She tried to sleep but I think she cant find a good position.
She said she had slept a bit, she was getting more normal now.
She replied softly like a small little child when I asked her questions.
I tucked her into bed, carefully adjust her blanket and massage her hand.
I told her that she need to sleep more, because I also need to rest and I promise her that I will be there the next morning to help her with her hair treatment.
She told me that she need some time to adjust and will take a while to go to sleep, I told her that we will leave her alone and will be there to see her the next day.
Called daddy and told him not to worry, he said he will pop by at 5am to take a look at her.
I just hope she could face the reality even if her hair *touch wood* might start falling.
God Bless and give her more strength,
Dajie
I've updated on11:49 AM