She was so excited and happy.

Cant wait to get out of the hospital.

She was discharged that around 6.45pm.

She was holding on to my arms because she felt weak.

The weather was bad and it was raining.

We were so worried that she might get drench and fall sick.

Manage to send the whole bunch back home.

We had to be very careful with her.

Her body is like a just born baby now.

Need to disinfect everything, she need to wear a mask, she cannot touch veggie and even when we sneeze or cough cannot be near her.

She is still very weak and she cannot even eat any food from the outside,for the fear of being contaminated.

We took turns to remind each other and do what we have to do.

Merry Christmas to her and hope she can recover soon and spend her Christmas next year with her friends!

God Bless,
Dajie

Woke up around 11am, rest of the family members were at home, none of us had spend her lunch with her.

I guess we were all shacked out after the last few days....

Mummy went down first, Erjie went to Ikea to buy her a new mattress.

Mummy called me and said she was feeling nauseous, feel like vommitting.

I drop by around 4pm, she looks fine.

Her mood seems better and she seems cheerful.

I asked her whether did she bathe and she said that the nurse only help to wipe her body.

I asked her whether she had wash her face, she said no.

I help her to wash her face, I sledom do this for others, and she smile at me and said I could use more strength cos I seems to be touching her face rather than washing it for her.

I then help to apply the hair treatment for her.

Suddenly she said she want to cut her hair short.

I was shocked.

I nearly cried and I asked her why the sudden decision.

She replied without batting her eyelid and in a very normal tone that since her hair will be dropping, might as well cut first.

After chatting with her for a while, she told me that a social worker and a doctor when to talk to her in the morning and chatted with her.

Not sure whether is it them who managed to change her mind and let her face the reality or she really had thought over carefully all by herself.

She even said that she been thinking on cutting her hair to a bob hairstyle, even laughed it off and said since her hair is so thick, her bob might look very big.

Her treatment was going well.

By 6.30pm, her first dose were finally over, second dose was being changed and continue.

The doctor said that her condition look very positive and will be able to discharge tomorrow. We are all keeping our finger crossed.

She told us that the food was bad and requested to eat Chicken Rice.

She can still eat normal food but she cannot take food that will contaminated easily.

I left about 7pm.

Me and Judy again sneaked in at 1.30am to see her.

She was sleeping very soundly.

My cousin gave me a shocked and he said he was there since he knock off from work.

He said that she had slept throughout from 9.30pm.

I stayed a while and decided to let her sleep.

Hope that she will be able to come home soon!

Dajie

Me and daddy rushed down to see her this morning, we reached at 9am.

While in the car, daddy received a call from the nurse, saying that they cannot start chemo because she seems depressed.

We reached there seeing her having a very stoned look.

Not sure what was going on but after we took turn to see her, she was holding to her hair and mumbling to herself that she dun want to lose her hair.

Dr Choo (The chemo dr) came in and spoke to her, told her that she will only start the treatment when she is ready.

We did not want that.

We want her to be able to go home soon.

For the first time, I talk to her more. I understand what is she worried about.

We are connected in some ways, because she is very vain, like me.

I know her hair is more important than her life now, I told her that she will look even ugly if she lost her arm.

We tried to coax her and told her we will try every ways and means to keep her hair.

I promise her that I will be there everyday to take care of her hair.

And she finally come to her senses and said that she wants to go home on Wed.

She allow me to wash her hair and apply the treatment for her.

I left the ward and told her I need to get some rest first and will continue the evening treatment for her.

When mummy and daddy took a lift down to have some food, daddy was in a bad shape.

I think he was getting so tired and worried and fustrated that he snapped.

He said she was getting on their nerve, have she ever thought of how her parents felt. They are very worried about her and they do not want to lose her.

I think I was the only calm one in the family (thank god I had enough rest), I told them nicely that they cannot give up on her now, she could feel their mood and it will affect her.

When I woke up from my nap, I was shocked to see the house in super big mess.

Her 3 best friends came over our house to help with the house-keeping, so that she could have a cleaner environment to stay in when she was discharged.

She is really lucky to have them. They were so worried for her yet respect her decision for not wanting to see them and was even chased out of the ward.

We went to see her at 7pm, she was being switch to the harsh enviroment.....ward 48.

When I reached there, the nurse was preparing for her treatment.

She was rather calm.....

While she start the treatment, me and Erjie help her with her hair treatment as promised.

Her friends was eagerly waiting and hoping to see her.

She once again rejected them ande said she will only see them after her whole treatment, when she recovered.

They passed her a card, written with alots of concern, love and care.

I sneak a preview of it when I told her I will read it out to her but she shaked her head profusely and refused facing them.

I reckon she will read it secretly when we are not around.

The 3 best friends decided to respect her decision depsited being very worried and left the hospital and I guess they will continue with their life.

I told them that we will update them on the process and will try to talk more sense into her and let her see them someday.

I went to work, leaving Erjie there to take care of her.

I brought Judy along with me after work and we both sneak back into the hospital at 1.30am, just when she need to use the toilet.

She tried to sleep but I think she cant find a good position.

She said she had slept a bit, she was getting more normal now.

She replied softly like a small little child when I asked her questions.

I tucked her into bed, carefully adjust her blanket and massage her hand.

I told her that she need to sleep more, because I also need to rest and I promise her that I will be there the next morning to help her with her hair treatment.

She told me that she need some time to adjust and will take a while to go to sleep, I told her that we will leave her alone and will be there to see her the next day.

Called daddy and told him not to worry, he said he will pop by at 5am to take a look at her.

I just hope she could face the reality even if her hair *touch wood* might start falling.

God Bless and give her more strength,
Dajie

Went to see her this afternoon, she looked very tired.

Heard from her friends that 2 doctors came and spoke to her.

They told her that she must cut her long hair, because it will trigger more faster hair loss. Her friends said she seems not able to take the blow and she was very upset.

No chance and not sure how to chat with her.

She doze off after having her lunch.

I sat beside her bed for a while, tidying her long hair and keeping it away from her face.

She was still sleeping when I left an hour later.

Mummy went over to accompany her, Erjie was there as well to look after her.

I was taking care of the little girl that mummy was babysitting.

Daddy had slept very long, I guess he was very tired.

Just received the call from mummy, she said that she was crying non-stop, Erjie and her friends were all crying.

Daddy had to rush down to see her but i can imagine him crying together with her as well.

We are all very helpless now, she kept saying she want to go home and we really wish we could give her whatever she wants.

She is very agitated now, saying that she might not even recover after the chemotherapy treatment, might as well give up and let her go home.

We understand the pain, the stress, the toughness, the unhappiness she is going through.....

How could we just let her go home even without trying?

God Bless us through this ordeal,
Dajie

Though today is the 5th day at the hospital, it was the worst nightmare.....

She was feeling better, all the tubes were taken out, no morphine was given to her and she was extremely clear headed and was aware on what was going on.

At 5pm today, we received news that she was going to switch ward.

We were not sure what was going on, thought she was ready for another kind of treatment.

Discovered that she was actually being downgraded from a B1 4-bedded ward to a 6 bedded ward as we had applied for the application to downgrade.

The application was processed rather too quickly for us to react and all of us was shocked when we step into ward 48.

It was a noisy surrounding and we describe the place as "hell".

All the other 5 roommates were elderly people, looking very sick, and even one had left with only half of her hair gone.

All the patients were going through cancer treatment, and I can related her thoughts, she might have been wondering whether she would become like them in the near future.

Worst nightmare for her when her bed is just beside the sink, she had imagine being waken by all the roommates going to brush their teeth the next morning.

She was still joking with us when she just arrived at the new environment.

I think for a moment she could not take it anymore and start breaking down.

She started crying and kept saying that she wanted to go home.

Sobbing and telling us that she miss her cat and wish to see him.

Daddy's tears started rolling down, first time in my life we saw him cry. Think he could not bear to see his youngest daughter going through the hardship or torture we felt.

The whole family started crying together with her.

We could not decide what to do.

Should we let her go home?

We were very worried that once she reach home, she will not continue her treatment on Monday.

We decided to make call to check whether she could go home and we will watch her around the clock.

The nurse said that she had just insert her treatment tube and there will be danger if the tube slip off the area and it might even burst her lungs.

We decided to switch her back to the old ward.

She actually felt better and even start talking and joking with her when she went back there.

Her 3 best friends are there now, taking turns to accompany her and to ensure everything will be alright till dawn.

We really wish that we could give her the best ward, the best specialist but medical cost is really a major concern now.

We do not know how long this road will take and we are trying to budget as hard as we could.

If money was not an issue, she would not have to face all those sicken patients, the harsh environment and the poor service.

Now we have the face the final test result on Monday.

God Bless,
Dajie.

Everyone was devastated when we heard the news....

Youngest beloved sister was diagnosed with Bone cancer.

We had visited a NUH professor 5 years ago and he said it was only a bone disorder and it was pretty harmless.

Never expected that a simple check up lead to series of scans, blood tests and the sad news were brought to the family that she might have bone cancer....

This blog was created to remind of what everyone is going through everyday and also hoping that we will be able to win this battle.

Love,
Dajie

Specially For Our Melody

Mymelody.

Veggie
Mymelody
Bubblegirl

Get well Now
Get well Now

CBOX

December 2008•

Designer : CHERLYN
Photo: Photobucket